Oppose Chaos With Action

Unexpected chaos tends to send someone like me, who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), into a scary place. Even without the additional stressors of last-minute changes to a routine, or something as ‘simple’ as a disagreement with a friend, BPD can feel like quiet chaos all on its own. The undercurrent of emotions inside me stays on a low simmer at all times. And sometimes, it feels as if any stressful, annoying, or chaotic situation can turn that simmer into a roiling boil. 

The past few weeks have been good practice in noticing the unease that I’m consistently feeling and figuring out what to do with it. In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), I learned about a skill called Opposite Action. Fairly self-explanatory, Opposite Action means when you don’t feel like doing something, in my case, because of anxiety or unease, you try for at least 20 minutes. In the explanation of the skill, it’s said that you should “throw yourself” into the activity. Using mindfulness, and an openness that maybe you’ll actually enjoy what you end up doing. With that being said, it helps me to keep in mind that Opposite Action won’t always work. Sometimes you still won’t feel like being at the party after 20 minutes, and that’s okay! It’s about taking the first step, and making the effort. 

So what about when Opposite Action doesn't work, and that chaos remains? Well, in all honesty, I'm still trying to figure that out. But the point is, that we can take these things one day at a time. Somedays will be easier than others. Somedays I'll be able to "throw myself" into whatever activity I'm trying to do with ease, and others opposite action will fail. I'm gonna try anyway. Because each day is worth the effort, and so are you.

-Jo <3